Finding Closure and Healing After Losing a Mother to Addiction

Written by Michael Smith

Experiencing the loss of a loved one due to addiction is incredibly painful and challenging. In my case, my mother struggled with addiction and lost her life as a result when I was just 12 years old. My grandmother then became my caretaker along with my sisters.

Growing up without a mother was hard enough, but the trauma of watching her struggle with addiction and ultimately lose her life to it was something that has stayed with me. I remember the times I would find her passed out from drugs, the times I would confront her about her addiction, and the times I would feel the weight of responsibility for my siblings and myself on my shoulders.

As a child, I didn't understand what my mother was going through. I didn't understand the grip addiction can have on a person, and I couldn't comprehend why she couldn't just stop. It wasn't until later in life that I began to seek out resources and information to better understand the pain and trauma I had gone through.

I've come to realize that the key to finding closure and healing is not in running away from the pain, but in facing it head-on. And for me, that means writing about my mother and the role that addiction played in her life and in mine.

I remember the times when my mother would disappear for days on end, consumed by her addiction. I remember the feeling of fear and uncertainty that would wash over me, wondering if she was safe and when she would come back. And I remember the moments when she would return, broken and defeated, promising that she would never use again.

But despite her promises, the cycle of addiction and recovery would inevitably repeat itself. And as a child, I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what to expect from my mother or how to react to the chaos that was happening around me.

As I look back on my childhood, I realize that my grandmother played a critical role in helping me to navigate the turmoil of my mother's addiction. She was a constant source of love, support, and stability in my life. And although she couldn't always protect me from the pain, she was always there to pick me up and help me to keep going.

I know that my story is not unique. Far too many children grow up in homes affected by addiction, and the impact of that trauma can last a lifetime. But I also know that there is hope for healing and that it's possible to find closure, even in the face of such unimaginable loss. It is important to remember that addiction is a disease and those who struggle with it need support and understanding. I encourage anyone who is struggling with addiction or has a loved one who is to seek out the help and resources they need.

  

If you're looking for additional resources, you can find more information and support at the following websites:

• Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org
• Narcotics Anonymous: https://www.na.org
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-treatment
• National Institute on Drug Abuse: https://nida.nih.gov/
• American Society of Addiction Medicine: https://www.asam.org Remember, you are not alone and there is help available. Don't be afraid to reach out and seek the support you need.

Remember, healing is a journey and it is okay to take the time you need to grieve and process your loss. It is important to reach out for help and support when needed.